When your husband isn’t there for you and the kids — whatever the reason — be encouraged. You can overcome loneliness, even feelings of rejection.
Marriage means celebrating Christmas together. Usually. But not always. That’s why celebrating alone hurts.
If you’re a married mom yet solo parent, you understand. You may fly solo during the holidays because your hubby is serving in the military, away on business, or another reason. (He may be a long-distance truck driver, a busy doctor, an alcoholic or addict, a man with a chronic health condition, someone serving time in prison, or so on). If so you know the pain of loneliness like no one else.
Kids, young or old, want desperately to celebrate the birth of Jesus with mom and dad. You want your husband to join the joyful Christmas morning melee too.
Wrapping-paper ripping.
Eggnog sipping.
Squealing, climbing, fa la la la.
It’s not quite the same without. . .papa.
So what’s a solo married mom to do at Christmas or other celebrations?
In her new book Married Mom, Solo Parent: Finding God’s Strength to Face the Challenge (Kregel, 2011), author Carla Anne Coroy gives practical suggestions and biblical teaching to equip you for the holidays and beyond.
Among them:
~ involve Dad. Tell him about special dates (such as your child’s holiday play, family gatherings) and ask him to tell you which days he can make it. Have him write it on his calendar. Let him know you are counting on him.
~ schedule a phone call. If it is difficult for him to attend a celebration, arrange with him that you will call him at an important point in the celebration, fill him in on essential details, and let broadcast your husband’s celebratory words over the speaker phone.
~ know it is okay to feel sad. When your husband has to miss a Christmas party — or even be away from home on Christmas — you may feel a plethora of emotions. So may your children. “When you see your children hurting and missing their dad, it is the hardest thing to not allow a root of resentment, anger, hurt, and betrayal take residence in your heart. It’s those times when we need to hold our children chose and pray,” Carla writes.
Carla has many more ideas. As a veteran solo parent, she has a passion to share her story–the good and the bad–to encourage other married women who feel like they’re going it alone. Chances are, you know someone like her in your neighborhood, church, or child’s classroom. She may be your daughter-in-law or daughter.
For more encouraging ideas, check out Carla’s website. Being a married mom, solo parent is a challenge. With God’s strength you can face daily challenges with grace.
Question: Are the holidays lonely for you? What helps most?
Merry Christmas!
