Welcome to Day 3 of 31 Days of Friendship! Girls’ friendships overflow community. Boys? Grab a game controller and call it deep friendship.
Do you remember when you’d phone a friend (now text) and ask what she’s wearing to school?
She wiggles into the jeans with holes. Me too.
She pulls on a sweater. I yank mine from a white princess chest of drawers.
I would die die die if my friends joked me and said they all pulled on jean skirts, and I found mine smashed and wrinkled at the back of my closet and zipped up mine. And then when I got the class they each wore boot cut jeans. No jean skirts. Except mine.
Me.
Alone.
The REJECT.
Anger.
Hurt.
Jerks.
Thank God (and I mean it) this never really happened to me in real life. Just thinking about it now churns my stomach.
Girls value community. You face your friend when you chat, not three-feet apart chats but inches. You know what I mean. I know you do. You’re a girl turned woman.
Guys sit side by side. Fishing. Football. Xbox Live. In a future post we’ll investigate the why.
As our posse of six gathers weekly at the Barnes and Noble cafe, we are bugged that our The Friendships of Women books don’t match!
Traci reads her version on a Kindle. Sharon and Leslie have the 20th anniversary editions in paperback. Vivian and Eileen each bring Nooks. I have the paperback, 10th anniversary edition. I guess we need grace to accept of tech-y differences.
Grace.
The grace to celebrate friendship despite our differences. . .
as
we sit face to face
in a circle of chairs
with our mismatched books.
It is well with {our} female souls.
Psst: Did you read the Day 2 post on how men have half a brain? Click here and read it now.
A FRIENDLY QUESTION: Think back to a childhood girl-friendship. How did she enrich your life? Do you keep in touch today?
I only had one girl-friendship that was actually a friendship rather than a passing phase or an enemy I was trying to make my friend. Without her, I don’t know if I would have made it through my teen years alive (and I mean that very seriously).
We still keep in touch every day, whether it be through a text message, phone call, or email, as she lives 3 hours away from me. She just became a mother last week, and since I already have 4 years of experience under my belt, this has become yet another way we’ve bonded. It’s great to know that, at age 25, I’ve had this wonderful woman in my life for 19 years now. How blessed I am.
Thank you for choosing friendship for your 31 days – it’s wonderful thus far!
Wow, Amy. What a special friend you have. We women need deep friendships, certainly during tough times, like you experienced in HS. I’m glad she was there for you.
Wish her congrats on the new baby from me too!
Two friends come to mind. One friend from my third and fourth grade years. The other from my high school years.
I have been unable to find my elementary friend. I miss her. She was my very first best friend. Her name is Nancy. Your comments about the discomfort with dissimilar book styles and the need to be the same reminds me of my strongest memory of my dear friend. “More like twins!” That become our theme. When we first met, Nancy had a broken arm. I told her that I had a broken arm in first grade. There were other things. After a few discoveries of our similarities, we began to say, “more like twins!” I lost track of her. I have tried to find her, but it’s not easy to find a woman that very likely has changed her last name by now. She impacted me, though. I hope her memories of me are as dear.
I am somewhat still in contact with my high school best friend. But, life distracts me, both of us I guess, and our calls are years apart. I am friends with her daughter on Facebook, though. That is an enormous treasure to me. My friend, Trudi, owns an enormous hunk of my heart. She brought a grace and beauty into my life. And, coincidentally, I was in love with her brother. She and I were friends first. At some point discovered the wonders of her brother. It seemed logical and ideal that I would marry him. How perfect! But, it was not to be. I loved him all through high school. My first true love. And yet, it is my friend that I cherish and want to keep in contact with.
This topic is enormous. I have written a book already and could still keep going. Thank you for reminding me of Nancy and Trudi. I think I have to call Trudi this week. I wish I could call Nancy….
Great stories, Karen. Thanks for sharing them. Trudi and Nancy sound like very special people. I too hope you can find Nancy. I will pray God makes a way for you to get in touch. . .I imagine you already tried her parents or other family members. Just an idea. 🙂
Pam and I have been friends since the 7th grade. Since her marriage, she has lived back in Missouri and Illinois, but we have still managed to stay in touch after all these years. I actually had a story published in Chicken Soup for the Soul about the depth of our friendship and what she taught me about life back in middle-school
She is my only girlfriend that was ever allowed to spend the night at my house. And we learned in one of our late-night “secret” conversations at her house that we were both adopted at birth. Looking back, I realize that she was the only person I knew throughout my entire childhood that was adopted besides my adopted brother.
Below is how Pam enriched my life in the ending of my story :).
“Although distance separates our life stories now, I know in my heart that Pam and I will always share a special bond. For over 44 years, my life has been deeply enriched by a friendship that was meant to be—a part of God’s plan. These days, when Pam and I get the chance to reconnect, it’s as if we are those two 13 year olds again making up for lost time.
I may not be able to wear a size five dress anymore or run quite as fast, but etched in my soul from the middle school years, is a sweet reminder that ‘we are all in this together.’ I can still hear the encouraging cheers as I face the challenges, as well as celebrate the triumphs that my life brings.
Believing in ourselves is not about winning or losing; it’s the way we choose to run to the finish line.”
Beautiful. Congrats on your story being published in Chicken Soup for the Soul. Each of my daughters have close friends who, like them, were adopted. They share an understanding/loss/joy that others cannot get their minds around. Thanks for sharing.