Bad thoughts are negative and untrue thoughts that we speak to our souls. They are nasty, they are loud, and they self-condemn. These words that we say to ourselves may be silent to others, but between our own pierced ears, they slice and dice.
These bad thoughts may sound like:
“I’m not good enough.”
“Ugly. . .that’s me.”
“I’m so stupid.”
“Nobody cares about me.”
“I’m a horrible mom.”
“Loser.”
We women condemn ourselves many times a day, don’t we? You. Me. Everyone. Where did verbal bashing begin? How can we stop these bad thoughts?
Genesis of Verbal Bashing
Verbal-bashing began in the Garden. At first, everything was perfect, as you know. Adam and Eve romped in their God-ordained nudist colony for two without a worry. Then Satan in the form of a serpent slithered on the scene in Genesis 3 and spoke a lie to Eve. She didn’t blink. I would have screamed. Maybe. I don’t know.
His lie: “You shall not surely die. For God knows that when you eat of it [a tree that God had said was off-limits] your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”
She believed her enemy. She died. Not immediately, but eventually. Shame filled her. She and Adam sewed fig leaves to cover up. When I lie to myself, I am believing my enemy. You too. We all do it.
Two decades ago, an oft-told lie of mine: “You’re defective, Lucy.”
Thankfully, I finally listened to God while in a pit of despair and agreed with him that I am precious. I am precious because he says so. He created me “fearfully and wonderfully.” His words! FYI: “Fearfully” means “with great respect” in this context.
What lie do you tell yourself about yourself?
2 Steps to Stop Bad Thoughts
Here’s a way to stop bad thoughts. Two (not so) simple steps! Easy to say, much more difficult to put into practice, right?
1. Ask God to help you recognize the lies that you say to yourself.
2. Replace the lies with God’s truth.
In my example of “You’re defective, Lucy,” I replaced this lie with the biblical truth, “God says you are precious.” Every time I was tempted to speak the “you’re defective” lie to my soul, I then spoke the truth. Over time I self-condemned less often. At least this lie. I’m a work in progress, like you.
How can you begin to replace self-condemning bad thoughts with God’s truth?
I heard a Pastor once say you should never ask yourself a Negative question… Like “Why am I so stupid? When you ask in the negative your mind searches until it finds a negative answer and that make makes you feel worse. You should think in the Positive and ask. ” How can I make myself more knowledgable of the things I need to know.
I am not very good at memorizing whole scripture but I know bits of ones like “take captive your thoughts”, create in me a clean heartl. Filling your head with things like that and what you shared will draw you away from the negative talking habit.
Lucy, this is an outstanding post. Your words certainly resonate with me and I know you are ministering to many women with this post.
Thank you!
Oh, Lucy, this is one of my top soap boxes! We just do not realize what negative thoughts and words do to us. A brain specialist from South Africa, Dr. Caroline Leaf, has done in depth studies of how the negatives adversely affect us, not only emotionally but even more so physically, causing illness and disease. She has written an awesome book called “Who Switched Off My Brain? Controlling Toxic Thoughts and Emotions.”
This is an excellent post. We should be more like David to strengthen and encourage ourselves in the Lord rather than tearing ourselves down. In a sense, when we speak negatively against ourselves, we’re telling God that His creation is no good, that He made a mistake.
Thank you for sharing this.
Lucy,
This is indeed an excellent post!
I told my husband just this morning before we left for church that I either had to learn to like myself like I am, or do something to change the things that I don’t like. I was looking in the mirror at the unsightly bulge of the extra 15 to 20 pounds that I’m currently carrying around, and I caught myself thinking, “Ugh, you look hideous.”
My dear husband tells me often how beautiful he thinks I am, but I can’t hear him over the lie that resonates in my head. He told me this afternoon that, yes, I should do what I need to in order to be happy with myself, but that he is happy with me just like I am, and he assured me he is telling met the truth.
How in the world did I get blessed enough to have a man like that? And I have a heavenly Father like that too. I can either listen to them, or listen to the lie I am telling myself, which will serve only to paralyze my efforts to make positive changes.
Again, thanks for your post!
Cheri
Wonderful post, Lucy. Thank you. Whenever I look to my flesh, I’m always disappointed, but when I recall who I am in Christ, my outlook brightens every time:-) I have a close friend who continually calls herself worthless, though. She writes this expression in some of her emails to me on occasion. How can I speak the truth in love to her? I tried once – it didn’t get very far:-)
hugs,
Vicki