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God chose the right woman: YOU

By on January 24, 2012 in biblical counseling, faith

Every woman desires to feel beautiful. . .loved. . .valued. . .chosen. God chooses YOU even though the world may reject you. Believe God. He is your Victory.

God has the right woman.  You.

Every woman desires to feel beautiful. . .loved. . .valued. . .chosen.

Chosen. 

A luscious little word, this chosen. God chooses YOU.

“For He chose us in him before the creation of the world.” Ephesians 1:4a

What About Them?

But. . .

years and years ago on a playground faraway, smart-aleck girls may have chosen you or your best friend last (or next to last) for a team, girls smirking, whispers reaching your ears. “She can’t play. Have you seen how slow she runs?”

But. . .

a month or so ago, when you put in another job application, wishing praying wishing praying for a chance–just one chance–to interview for a position,

silence. No email. No phone call. Zilch.

So Who’s Right?

Are you chosen as God says you are?

Or is there a cauliflower wart hanging from your nose, scaring off every potential friend, colleague, and Welcome Wagon? In other words, are you a reject?

Here’s the Capital T truth.

You are who God says you are: chosen. You can take that to the heavenly vault.

When you recognize the truth that Jesus has chosen YOU, just as you are, your jeans size doesn’t matter. Or the number of contacts in your cell phone. Or your ability to cook a la Rachel Ray. Or put on perfect eyeliner. Or kick like a karate chick.

Yeah, like me. My black belt doesn’t matter. The fact I suffer panic attacks doesn’t matter. You heard right. A black-belted panic attack sufferer. I know. . .weird.

What Matters Most  

What matters is what God says about himself and about you, and about his plan and purpose for you, dearly chosen one. :-)

Repeat after me (now and every day this week): I am chosen.

Question: Will you share an insight on being chosen or rejected? Leave a comment, please. Thank you.

With Joy Overflowing,

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how to stop ugly thoughts

By on January 19, 2012 in biblical counseling, emotions, today's sip

Every woman has ugly thoughts. You can replace them with godly thoughts. Here’s a tool for you.

Grab paper and a pen. It’s time to chart. In Today’s Sip, you learn how to:

1. Identify the lies you believe.

2. Recognize the link between your thoughts and your feelings, which translate into behavior.

3. Change your feeling and behavior by renewing your thoughts.

Ready?

First, on your notebook paper, set up your categories like this:

THE LIE. . . . . . . . . . . . . .EMOTIONS. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .BEHAVIORS

Step 1. Under “The Lie” write your current or recurring negative (ungodly) thought. Then jot down the resulting emotions under “Emotions.” Now list your behaviors under “Behaviors.” Here’s an example.

THE LIE: “I’m stupid”

EMOTION(s): Anger, depression, loneliness

BEHAVIOR(s): Yell at the kids, slam the door, eat a bag of chips

Step 2. Now write three new categories. (See below.) Under “The Truth” replace the lie with a biblical truth or a Scripture verse. Then write the likely resulting feelings under “New Emotion” and likely behaviors under “New Behavior.” On your notebook paper set up your categories like this:

THE TRUTH. . . . . . . . . . NEW EMOTIONS. . . . . . . . . . . . NEW BEHAVIORS

Here’s a corresponding example.

THE TRUTH: God says all His works are wonderful, so this means I’m an okay person and He’ll help me.

NEW EMOTION(s): Contentment, courage

NEW BEHAVIOR(s): Hug the kids, smile, complete the job application

Step 3. Chart the lies you believe, your emotions, and your behaviors daily. As soon as you recognize a lite, replace it truth. Ask God to help you believe His truth. You’ll begin to see a change in your emotions and behaviors as you replace lies with the truth. Please be patient and persevere.

You didn’t develop poor thinking patterns overnight. In fact, they may have begun in childhood and are ingrained in your thinking. And so it’ll take weeks, sometimes months, as you to cooperate with the Holy Spirit in the renewing of your mind. Have hope. You CAN do it with God’s help.

Question: What is a lie you’d like to replace with the truth? Please leave a comment.

With Joy Overflowing!

 

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when alcoholism hits home: REFILLS RADIO

By on January 16, 2012 in online radio show

Today of REFILLS RADIO my guest Jack Watts admits his addiction to alcohol destroyed his marriages. He shares words of comfort to you. . .whether you’re in a problem marriage or want to understand addiction.

On my online radio show on Tuesday my guest Jack Watts shares real and deep as he tells a crazy and amazing story of recovery from the monster of alcoholism. You can listen to this 30-minute show at 2 p.m. Eastern (11 a.m. Pacific) by clicking this link. You can listen to the archived show at the same link.

Please be sure to leave a comment at the end of this post to enter a giveaway of Jack’s book, Hi, My Name Is Jack. You may also order it from Amazon.

Alcohol addiction is rampant in the United States. Here are statistics from www.Learn-About.Alcoholism.com.

~ Alcohol is the number one drug problem in America.

~ There are more than 12 million alcoholics in the U.S.

~ Three-fourths of all adults drink alcohol, and 6% of them are alcoholics.

~ In the United States, a person is killed in an alcohol-related car accident every 30 minutes.

~ People with a higher education are more likely to drink.

~ Higher income people are more likely to drink.

People just like Jack.

Jack wrote the memoir Hi, My Name Is Jack, One Man’s Story of the Tumultuous Road to Sobriety and a Changed Life (Howard Books, 2011). It is an outrageous, honest (way, way honest), and inspirational story. You hear it all: infidelity, divorce, abuse, lying, embezzlement, and SECRETS.

Here Jack kindly shares a bit of his story. You’ll hear more on REFILLS RADIO at 2 p.m. Eastern (11 a.m. Pacific), especially words of comfort directed to women who know an alcoholic or suspect alcoholism.

Here’s Jack:

Regardless of Your Circumstances, There Is Hope

If alcoholism is part of your life in any way, Hi, My Name Is Jack is for you.This book is a fascinating, authentic story of one man’s life, lived with increasing triumph through incredible adversity. Jack’s life is not ordinary or predictable—not even close. Reality never is. His extraordinary story is hard to believe, especially since his gripping memoir reads better than most novels. It’s so good, most finish it in a day or two. It’s that compelling.With its overarching theme of recovery and living a life of purpose, Hi, My Name Is Jackmay be one of the best books you’ll ever read. But it’s more than a good story. It has redeeming value, which people who have trouble with addiction or family dysfunction will find helpful and inspiring.Jack’s story is not a sweet, sanitized narrative—far from it. Although at times extremely funny and wildly irreverent, it’s a tale of faith forged from a lifetime of relationships with more than one man’s share of trouble. The character development is extraordinary—meticulously honest and straightforward. Because the dialog is real, it’s captivating and moving, which is why you’ll find it hard to put down.As a read Jack’s story, you will experience a wide range of emotions, as Jack leads you through the unique and unpredictable turns in his life.

Hi, My Name Is Jack is well worth reading, and it makes a great gift—one that provides hope for each reader.

Question: Would you like to enter a giveaway for a copy of Jack’s book? Yes?! Then simply leave a comment here. A winner will be announced on Friday.

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does your marriage need a tune-up?

By on January 16, 2012 in basics matter, biblical counseling, family

Sometimes a marriage needs a tune-up, even bodywork to fix the dents. What about yours? With God’s help, your marriage can get back on track.

“Who’s your best friend?”

“My husband,” many women reply.

Is your husband your best friend, really? Or has he. . .become a roommate, a ship passing in the night? Has the spark flickered out?

The good news, God cares about your marriage. He not only wants you and your guy to communicate well but also to have your marriage filled with meaning, growth, compassion, and hope.

Here are two true stories. Names and some details have been changed.

A Stinky Story

Jessica’s husband stinks. He he has bad breath that could slay Goliath. He also is a mess. He leaves out his cereal bowl, the newspaper, his boxers. He misses the toilet, too, and fails to wipe the tinkle. All this is driving Jessica crazy. “If he cared about me, he’d show basic common courtesy,” she says. There’s more.

He flirts with pretty ladies right in front of her.

Jessica has had numerous sit-downs with her husband about other women, personal hygiene, and sloppiness. He deflects her comments, saying that she can clean his dishes and urine since it bothers her, not him, and that she can leave the conversation when he flirts.

A #1 Son Story

Susanna’s husband has a best friend and it’s not her. The best friend is their 30-something, college-educated son who lives at home. She thinks their son should move out. Her husband says he should stay and that she should do the son’s laundry and make his lunches.

Though he works, the son doesn’t pay rent, contribute to the bills, or help around the house or yard.

Susanna deeply loves her son and wants the best for him, and she knows his leeching is not only wrong, but also damaging to him and to her marriage.

What’s Your Take?

In each story, what do you think is an underlying problem? After listening to the women’s stories, what would you say? Pretend your their biblical counselor or spiritual friend.

Please continue reading this article at Basics Matter, where I blog on Mondays.

P.S. Do you need help in tuning up your marriage? As you probably know I am a seminary-trained biblical counselor who “meets” with women by webcam (Skype) and phone. I also counsel women in person. My office is in north-central Illinois. If you’d like to take advantage of my 30-minute introductory consultation, please contact me.

With Joy Overflowing,

 

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counseling: is it for you?

By on January 12, 2012 in biblical counseling, healing resources

Some Christian women need counseling but wonder if it’s the godly choice. Well, is it?

Do you have an ongoing relational struggle?

 Is stuff from your past interfering with your present?

Are you addicted to something, even a good thing like ministry work?

Are you lonely or sad or fearful or angry?

Is your walk with the Lord a limp?

If you answered yes to any question, then counseling is for you. Specifically, biblical counseling.

Biblical counseling is what I do. Biblical counseling takes seriously three convictions: that God’s Word should be the counseling authority of Christians helping people who hurt; that counseling is a part of discipling ministry of the local church; and that God’s people can and should be trained to counsel effectively. Biblical counseling differs from psychotherapy (or secular counseling), which by definition rests on worldly philosophies.

To answer life questions about problems and solution, secular counseling turns to human reason. Biblical counseling depends on scriptural revelation. Furthermore, secular counseling claims there is no one truth whereas biblical counseling proclaims Christ as the Truth.

I received my training through the Pastoral Care to Women program at Western Seminary, Portland, Ore., courses from NANC (National Association of Nouthetic Counselors), and now a certification program of the Association of Biblical Counselors.

Usually the best counseling is face-to-face. To find a biblical counselor in your area, click HERE.

However, in-person biblical counseling is not always possible. This is why I offer a free initial consultation by webcam or phone, as well as in person (for women who live in north-central IL). Then we can decide your counseling needs and develop a plan unique to you. To learn more, click HERE. Find hope today!

Got questions? Feel free to contact me.

Question: What is (or was) one of your struggles?

With Joy Overflowing!

 

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